So here I am relaxing after a good positive day. I catch a bit of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with my son, singing along to the theme tune with him. What could spoil such a great end to the day…surely nothing?

Well, I have just been shown this:

Jessica Simpson and David Bisbal singing Angels live. Yes, that is right, Jessica Simpson singing live.

You have to hope it is live, because if that is a backing track playing for her, then just imagine how she would sound live…

Listen and weep…really weep… I want you to have the same nightmares that I will have tonight…

Love Will Tear Us Apart. A Classic. A Karaoke Killer.

It seems so many artists think they can do justice and homage to this piece of masterful music.

Of the three below, I just can’t decide which one is worse…

First up is Paul Young…

watch?v=nCE_eA0vmY8

Then here is a live performance from Arcade Fire and U2…

Then we have Nouvelle Vague’s take on it…my personal favourite for worst version

Now this is all subjective, but I think this version by Jose Gonzalez is very decent…

And citizen watt likes this version by Susanna and The Magical Orchestra from their excellent Melody Mountain album which also includes covers of Crazy, Crazy Nights by Kiss, and AC/DC’s “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock and Roll) in the same style…

You know when hear something and you ask yourself “What was the point?”.
Well, this sums it up for me completely…

Scissor Sisters doing Comfortably Numb by Radiohead. The title truly describes the emotional state I was in whilst listening to this version…

Mind you, the point of the Scissor Sisters is a whole other debate…

Thanks to Tim Fraser-Harding for putting me on to this gem….

Now things are getting serious.

Based on my criteria posted on Number 3, I have no problem at all nominating this horror for the Hall of Infamy.

Cat Stevens wrote a lovely little song about the relationship between Father and Song, sung from both points of view. Clever structure, heartfelt lyrics, tender and sad all in one.

Then along came this monstrosity. Boyzone had a way with covers. No doubt they will feature more in this little chart of ours, but their version of Father & Son as much torture as I can bear:

Mind you, to lighten the mood, I found this by two young kids. I really think they lip-sync better than Boyzone…Fantastic…

I am trying to think of criteria for judging what is the Worst Cover Version of a Song Ever.

Here are some so far that artists sub-consciously must check through

1 Use the song to just make yourself lots of money
2 Sing/Play the song without giving yourself to the lyrics or the music.
3 Can’t be bothered with stamping your own personality over the song.
4 Try to sound like the original so you can make a heap of money on sync deals, so doing the original artist out of some money
5 Use a great song to cover up your own lack of talent
6 Misplaced loyalty to a fellow musician and idol
7 Always listen to your guru/producer/A&R person

However, some people judge a cover not by such criteria but more by being appalled that certain artists even go near a song of their idols.

Here is a case in point. Many seem to be not happy with this cover by Dolly Parton of Stairway to Heaven.

Now I am no big fan of Dolly Parton (really I am not), but cannot see how the criteria above fits with this version. It is either just plain awful or really rather good? (And here I realy start to worry about myself…)

So, after the horror of my recent post on AC/DC and the Celine Dion cover, I now keep thinking of artists who have covered a song and managed to destroy the beauty of the original on one step.

Now I am no big fan of early Rock n Roll. Not a huge fan of Elvis or Buddy Holly or Little Richard. However, I appreciate the debt many artists owe to them.

However, what gets me is how on earth Bill Haley and The Comets got away with it. The acceptable face of clean cut Rock n Roll in the 50s U.S. (i.e. white country boys)?

Maybe, but their version of Shake Rattle and Roll has to be entry number two in the Chart of Worst Covers Ever…

Here is their version…all nicely cleaned up (I hear Walmart again!)

And here is Big Joe Turner doing it properly…